To my handful of readers (my wife and few people I pay to read), thanks for the comments and conversation.
There are several reasons that I'm going to let this be the last post for the foreseeable future.
- I've got some personal issues to take care of and I can't handle blogging. It twists the best of me into something I don't want put out there. I need to spend time with my family, building relationships, gaining trust with people. Blogging, for me, has been damaging those intents instead of fostering them.
- I have serious problems with my underlying reasons for blogging and some painful self-critiques of my motives that I need to address. My writing has increasingly taken a turn toward dumping on people and lashing out, dealing with my issues by projecting them onto "enemies" of truth and justice. It has been more and more obvious in the tone and the biting snark of my posts. That's not helpful nor community building.
- Ultimately, people, friendships, and family matter more to me than my own ego building campaign. It's time I put my money where my mouth is and prove it.
- Blogging has been a way for me to convince myself that I'm really doing the work of justice even if I leave bodies lying in the wake of my writing. Now, certainly, the world needs bloggers and writers to challenge the systems that oppress and I hope to contribute that way someday when I'm more mature. As for now, I need to quit hiding behind the criticisms I dish out and start capturing the stories of justice in my own experience as a resource for entering the conversation instead of using my projections to construct a campaign of self-congratulatory justice efforts.
- I talk a lot about listening. How ironic. It's time to stop talking about it, I suppose.
This very post is an act of hubris in thinking that people care why I'm not going to blog, Facebook post as much, and engage social media the way I have in the past. But some have asked about what's going on and I thought it best to offer an explanation and put to words that I'm aware of the way some of my motives have strangled the larger purposes I intended.